Girls Aloud are weary; not just a bit worn out but shattered - or "knackered" in Girls Aloud speak. "I'm really run down. I'm not feeling well," whispers Nicola.
"We had to get up at 5.30am to do an acoustic session," groans Nadine. Kimberley Walsh joins in: "We didn't finish until 12.30, last night."
"The industry is so fickle," sighs Cheryl, apropos of nothing.
"Everything you do is so fickle. You never quite know what's happening in your life. Even though I live in the same bloomin' house as my husband (footballer Ashley Cole), I haven't seen him for 20 days. I was away for ten days working. I came back then he was away for ten days."
Sarah says nothing. She's stretched out horizontally on a sofa. I wonder, given the general atmosphere of ennui, if she's fallen asleep but can't be sure because she's wearing a massive pair of sunglasses. Perhaps she just wishes she was somewhere else.
"I've got a bug coming," says Nicola, putting her hand to her forehead and letting go of Elvis, the pug puppy she's been holding. Wagging his tail excitedly, Elvis hurtles about the suite, by far the happiest soul in the room.
Now, this is not what I expect. Girls Aloud should be brash, boisterous, shouting from the rafters. Thrown together on The X Factor's dimly remembered forerunner, 2002's Popstars: The Rivals, they've just entered the Guinness Book Of Records for the "most consecutive top entries in the UK by a female group", eclipsing the Spice Girls top ten single record with 16 hits.
Back to school: Kimberley and Cheryl pictured on on the set of St Trinian's
Thanks to their peerless brand of pop, chav appeal and the brilliance of producer Brian Higgins, Nicola Roberts (poorly, fragile as bone china), Nadine Coyle (great legs, fake tan), Cheryl Cole (Newcastle's Posh Spice, better skin), Kimberley Walsh (nice smile, naff earrings) and Sarah Harding (said to be a bit of a slapper, "but I'm not any more, I'm dating a DJ") are being celebrated in places that usually have little truck with glossy girl bands, such as NME and the New Statesman.
The band will be touring in the UK in May 2008. They've just finished filming the remake of St Trinian's in which they'll appear with Rupert Everett and Stephen Fry as the "naughty" school band, and their fourth album Tangled Up was released this week.
The album features a subtle maturing of their sound ("It wouldn't work as well now if we were doing the Love Machine type of track - that quirky, colourful, young girl dance routine. We're kind of past that," says Nadine) and was met with glowing reviews, insisting: "Tangled Up is a riot."
So why aren't the girls well, er, riotously happy? "We live in a pop industry bubble and see it for what it is," says Cheryl. "We're well aware that at any moment in time the bubble can burst. If this all ended, I would like to be a mother, have children.
Good time girl: Sarah Harding has a reputation for heavy drinking but she says she only does what the average girl her age would
"Babies are definitely something I'm looking forward to - and something I want to do sooner, rather than later. That's going to be the highlight of my life - having children and settling down.
"But every decision you make as an individual affects four other people's lives. This is the debate at the moment."
Hold on. Rewind a minute, girls. Debate? Surely the most successfully manufactured group in British music history can't be thinking the unthinkable?
"We'll see how this album goes then sit down and have a conversation about the next stage," says Cheryl. "All we can say for definite is that we'll be together up to the end of the tour."
Cheryl, a no-nonsense northerner with the gift of the gab, has assumed the role of spokeswoman, but her gob seems to be running away with her. Kimberley shoots her a hold-your-tongue look and interrupts: "Breaking up would be a mutual decision we'd have to make together."
Nadine, though, doesn't seem quite so sold on this team player stuff. She's just pulled out of the ITV2 reality TV show Passions, in which each of the five band members was to try their hand at achieving something they'd always wanted to do.
Nadine, who recently moved her family to Los Angeles where she has an on-off relationship with Desperate Housewives star Jesse Metcalfe, is said to be the most ambitious band member.
Couple: Cheryl says she can goes weeks without seeing footballer husband Ashley Cole
"You can have your own mind, make your own decisions and walk away from it at any time," she says, looking nothing like a (as Love Machine had it) "gift-wrapped kitty kat" in a grown-up grey pencil skirt and white blouse.
"I'm the most willing to try different things - the one who mostly thinks outside the box. For me, the need is to be in Girls Aloud to release this album. If the tour doesn't sell well, we'll have to have a conversation about where we go next.
"There are things I want to do that are not entertainment-related - such as buy and decorate houses and sell them on, or buy bars and sell them." Nicola is startled into forgetting her bug for a moment. "I'd be really unprepared if it all ended tomorrow," she wails. "I think when you're in something so important...this is actually my whole life."
Girls Aloud is - or has been - at least a good fifth of each of their lives, much of which has been played out in the tabloids. In the last few weeks alone, we've had: Cheryl Reveals How Ashley Won't Bed Her If Their Dogs Are Watching; Kim's Fear After Phone Snatch; and Sarah Harding Rings In Her 26th Birthday With The Raciest Girls Aloud Show Ever.
"I'm so **ing sick of that," scowls Sarah. After more half-an-hour, mention of the red-top tabloids has finally stirred her from her stupor. Sarah, who was raised a Catholic, has been linked to a number of men since her tempestuous relationship with Popstars: The Rivals competitor Mikey Green ended after two years.
Sweet 16: Nicola, pictured with boyfriend Carl Davies is one of the youngest band members and had a hard time in the press in the early days
A notorious binge-drinker, her boyfriends are said to have included Liverpool footballer John Arne Riise, actor Stephen Dorff and Daily Star gossip columnist Joe Mott, she is now dating DJ Tom Crane.
"I don't like being labelled," she says. "Last year, I was just doing what every other 25-year-old girl does. I was single. I don't go out on the lash with my friends like I used to. Most people don't see the girl who goes home, has a night in with her boyfriend, cooks dinner, watches telly. They just want to see pictures of me so-called falling out of clubs p***ed." (Incidentally, she claims she's more often "snapped blinking not p***ed".)
Nadine interrupts: "My way of dealing with the fame aspect has been to keep it completely unrelated to my life," she says. "That's why I don't like doing reality TV shows. I have a life outside Girls Aloud with people that are not related to the music industry. This is my job. It's why I don't like talking about Jesse, but, yeah, it's on. We're on.
"I don't know how the public sees any one of us apart from the partying element with Sarah. People don't tell you the truth." At Christmas we'll see Girls Aloud as we first saw them, a bunch of boisterous teenage girls having fun on the set of the St Trinian's remake.
When they speak about the film, I'm reminded of the playful, kittenish enthusiasm that was theirs when they were shiny and new. "We were playing a school band so we were meant to be like teenagers," says Kimberley. "We really got into it. We got all dressed up."
"It's hard to say how it feels when you're going to be in a film with someone like Stephen Fry," sparkles Cheryl. "It's like - my God, we're really honoured. We've done well. The Spice Girls didn't last five years. They imploded within two years, it'll be six years once we come off tour, so that's longevity."
Ambitious: Nadine recently moved her family to LA where she has had an on/off relationship with actor Jesse Metcalfe
The moment's past and we're back to the post gift-wrapped kitty kat Girls Aloud, the grown-up ones, the weary ones - the ones, I suspect, who worry about how to repackage themselves should it all end tomorrow.
The problem is, when your adult life has been a merry-go-round of promotional interviews and tours it can be tough to actually know who you are.
I wonder how they see themselves. Cheryl kicks off: "Nicola is sensitive. Sarah is crazy." "She's going to use all the words up so by the time it gets to me there won't be none left," wails Nicola. "Nadine is confident, very confident," Cheryl continues, hanging on to the first syllable.
"I'd call Cheryl guarded, charmingly guarded," Nadine retaliates in her soft Irish accent, sweetening up her words with a smile. "There's so many different sides to Sarah," Nadine's really smiling now. "Every description of any human being, she can be them all in a day. And Kimberley." Cheryl interrupts: "Kimberley is balanced." "Yeah," Nicola agrees. "Her life seems to go smoothly. There's no jolts along the way." Kimberley disagrees: "There is, but I like to keep things to myself. I've had an easier time of it than the others because I'm older. I was 21 instead of 16 when we started and there is a difference I've got a lot of admiration for Nicola."
Colourful: The girls says their music - and their style - has now grown up since the early days
Cheryl nods: "The papers used to call her terrible, terrible things. At that age it's hard for anyone." She's referring to the jibes that usually centred unfairly on Nicola's looks. When they were first launched in 2002 Nicola was constantly criticised for her ginger hair and unwillingness to smile. "She'd be hard-pushed to win a Nuneaton beauty contest" was one particularly unpleasant jibe.
"For a while I got addicted to buying new things because it made me feel better," says Nicola. "Just shopping, shopping, shopping. I was ever so stupid, but that was where my mind was a few years ago. I'd be buying new underwear, new socks, and because they were brand new it would make me feel better rather than getting an old pair out of the drawer."
Nicola split with long-term boyfriend Carl Egerton at the end of last year after dating him for five years. She's recently moved in with boyfriend Carl Davies. "I'm really happy now. I'm in a relationship that's been going about a year now. We've just moved in together. People say the new relationship has brought a lot out in me, but it's me that's done it.
"I came out of a relationship I'd been in since I was 16, and once I was out of it I was able to be the person I wanted to be rather than who I'd been at 16."
The other girls cluck around her. "Oh, stop it," Nicola blushes. "You're making me feel all emotional." "We often say we wish we could step outside of everything, look at ourselves individually and see what the perception is," says Cheryl.
"The media distortion has been the hardest thing. It's like the WAG thing. It's so far removed from what I am and do. I went to the World Cup to be there and support my husband. You never once saw me out on the drink. You never once saw me in a shop, shopping. You never once saw me dancing on a table. I don't appreciate that behaviour at all."
The interview is at an end. Elvis has fallen asleep once more and Nicola looks as if she wants to join him. Tomorrow they finish promoting the album, and then its Christmas, the tour, and after that - who knows?
• The Girls Aloud album Tangled Up is out now.
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