Men in the presence of women are like children in a toy store. We have our hearts set on that special one, but we are still dazzled by all the glittery objects around us - and we want to look here, there, and everywhere.
Men are visual creatures, after all.
We can't help but admire, appreciate, and applaud the beauty of the female form. But is it okay to admire others when we're in the presence of The One? Men's Health recently polled men on what they thought about ogling other women in the presence of their wives or girlfriends.
• 53 percent say that if the opening's there, they'll take it
• 28 percent say they'll do it only in extreme cases, or if wearing sunglasses
• 19 percent say they'd never do it, because they'd like to keep their parts properly attached
Now, before the ladies out there get all up in arms over the wandering eyes, think for a moment. You enjoy eye candy too, right? I mean, those seven nurses who were suspended last month for ogling George Clooney's medical records weren't doing it out of concern for his health, were they?
Fact is, men look and women look. Biology has programmed us to browse for appropriate mates, and our eyeballs are one of the tools all of us use to shop with.
But it's time for a reality check here.
Just because you look through the dealership window doesn't mean you're going for a test drive. The majority of men and women can separate a momentary visual fantasy from reality.
Speaking for the male part of our equation, I can say that many men mean no disrespect to the women they're with if they glance at another woman. I certainly know lots of men who appreciate the female body as one of the world's most luscious visions. They feel the same way about the Grand Canyon - but they aren't going to move there.
Of course, there's also no denying that for some guys, ogling is just the first step toward active engagement. So what factors divide the man who occasionally peeps from the one who's going to launch the torpedoes the moment he gets a radar lock on knee-high boots? A couple things to keep in mind:
• Better an honest look than a sneak peek.
Many guys won't admit they look because they know if they 'fess up, it will come off as disrespectful. On the flip side, the guy who says, "Yeah, she was something, eh?" may suffer a temporary ruffle of displeasure from his mate. But when she calms down, she might view her guy as honest, at least, and therefore harmless: After all, he's not trying to hide anything. The one to worry about might actually be the guy who denies his baser impulses. If he's hiding something, there may be cause to worry.
• History predicts the future.
Knowing how he met his previous girlfriends can be a tip-off to how he operates. If he met them in a bar, or another type of visual-first setting, it simply says that he may act on his attraction. But if a guy met his girlfriends through the office, friends, or volunteer work, that may be a good sign. That kind of guy requires meaningful interaction before he makes his move, so he might be less likely to act on visually driven impulses.
• The woman he wants isn't necessarily the one he's looking at.
There's a big difference between an idle glance and an intention to bring someone into your personal world. If a guy is going to stray, it's unlikely he's going to try to approach a stranger on a beach or the woman walking across the sidewalk. The more worrisome ones are the ones he can track down: The woman from spinning class, the hot bartender, Amanda from accounting on the fifth floor.
Of course, when it comes right down to it, there's no way to say absolutely who will let their eyes steer their hearts, but I do know this: Many guys feel that as long as they're not outwardly being disrespectful with long ogles or stares, then it's okay to engage in some art appreciation (within reason, of course). And a woman who tries to squelch that right with paranoid accusations might actually provoke her man to follow up one of those glances with action.
For more on why men stare... but stay (and darn well should!), check out this fascinating article. You’ll never look at monogamy the same way again!
Also, please share your always great anecdotes, insights and tips!
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